An Assembly of Awe Adventure
Chapter 1: The Toast Uprising
It began in Brussels. Waffle irons exploded in kitchens across Europe, while Kool-Aid geysers burst from school fountains in Florida. It wasn’t terrorism—it was culinary reprogramming.
The Old Man in the Vest, who had smelled the scent of artificial blueberry on the wind three weeks earlier, issued a coded warning via ham radio.
“The batter has been stirred.”
That was all the team needed.
Chapter 2: The Gathering
The Guy Who Looks Like a Charcoal Drawing emerged from the shadows of a forgotten Parisian gallery, carrying a map etched in scorched toast.
The Mischievous Street Wizard was found breakdancing outside a Chicago bagel shop, casting incantations to disarm waffle mines.
The Gadabout Asian Man rerouted five international flights and rode a bullet train backward just to acquire the last unmodified packet of lentils in Kyoto.
The Regular Guy in the Ball Cap simply showed up with a sack of kale chips and an attitude of unshakable Midwestern logic.
And finally, The Actor with a Visor Sewn to His Head, deep in character as “Captain Fiber,” had already infiltrated Dr. Syrupstein’s organization by pretending to be a lactose-intolerant intern.
Chapter 3: Operation: Crumb Down
The team rendezvoused in a submarine disguised as a giant sourdough loaf.
The plan was as follows:
- Distract the drone-toaster army with a gluten-free flash mob.
- Hijack the Kool-Aid supply and swap it with beet juice concentrate.
- Reprogram the central waffle algorithm using the last analog egg beater on Earth.
The battle raged. Syrup rained from the skies. Blue-stained zombies wandered food courts in a daze.
But one by one, the team succeeded. The Gadabout’s lentils neutralized the batter reactors. The Wizard enchanted the egg beater. The Old Man muttered something cryptic that crashed the drones.
And the Regular Guy, armed with only a baseball bat and a firm grasp of FDA regulations, kicked in Syrupstein’s lab door and said:
“Buddy, you forgot about fiber.“
Epilogue: Breakfast Reborn
Dr. Syrupstein now resides in a correctional facility where he teaches waffle etiquette and makes smoothies for breakfast. The world returned to normal—balanced meals, moderately sweetened beverages, and only the occasional sentient toaster.
The Assembly of Awe disbanded once again. Or did they?
Because somewhere, in a dim-lit booth of an all-night diner, six men sit around a plate of hash browns…
…just in case the world gets too sweet again.
